that girl was a teenage drama queen

i'm really thankful to God for the last few days that i can get passed. 5 days ago i feel like my world is going to destroyed in a second. a guy that i really liked, a guy that i wanted to be  my groom, a guy  that i wish to be a father of my child, he's now happy with another girl, his choose.

he's my ex actually, he's also waiting for me for the last 11 months. and now, when i've finally sure with my choice to build a new life with him, apparently, unexpectedly, he's now in a relationship with his junior.

for some people maybe it's just like another teenage story, and maybe they think that i face this case too much, too much drama, yeah, i think i'm now act like a drama queen.

but, fyi, sometimes, a story like this, you'll never know how to solve it.

i used to think that i try to suicide, dramatic huh? but yes, i thought that it was a simple way to be less depress. it was my coping at that time. posting hubbub and confusion tweets on my twitter. that was some example of katarsis ya know?

i tried to suicide by cutting veins, but that happens, just blisters on the wrist wound was deep enough, but not bad to feel the pain.

i always said that i'm okay, i'm cool, i'm fine... but actually, i just pretending to be strong, i'm not strong enough like a girl that you always know. my friends always ask, "where's the old elza? the cheerful one? the strong one that easy to move on? the smart one?" she's doesn't exist anyway, i buried her. deeply bury her.

the last, i also thanks to God for having a lot of best friend, best girls in the world that i have, that always support me, force me to stand up, even sometime they're being so fussy. but i love them.
and for you, my dear one, my love life architect, would you mind, someday, to propose me to build a lovely family? because, i'm sure to say "i do"... if... i still have a second chance, even you're not promise me anything.

sincerely,

elizabeth jane caesarina s.